How to Support New Parents Without Overwhelming Them with Advice

(Thoughts for those who want to help, not overwhelm.)

Why New Parents Don’t Need More Advice

What if it’s presence rather than instruction? Flexibility over rules?

Here’s the challenge: Many of us—and most products—have an agenda. Whether personal, financial, or philosophical, too often the message is that there are two ways to do any one thing: this way, and wrong.

And that is so much pressure.

Expecting and new parents are obvious potential targets of unsolicited “wisdom.”
A pregnant belly alone seems to signal to some, “I’m living a time of change! I need your wisdom!”

Really, most parents don’t need advice—and if they do, they’ll ask.

What New Parents Actually Need From Friends and Family

Can You Give Them Confidence?

Now that would be an amazing gift—can you give them confidence?

• They need opportunities to explore options and check in with themselves on what feels right to them.
• They need you, but they don’t need all your answers.
• They need to borrow your confidence.
• Now that would be an amazing gift—can you give them confidence?

Supportive Actions That Matter Most

Here’s what that might look like:

• Holding space instead of holding court
• Asking before offering advice
• Listening more than lecturing
• Trusting that they know their baby best
• Offering your presence, not pressure

Support Without Pressure, Tools Instead of Instructions

Sound like a better way to start?

Support without pressure.
Tools instead of instructions.

Our FACE Cards: Pregnancy and New Parent Edition conversation decks are designed exactly for this. They’re tools for connection and conversation—helping parents talk with someone, not be talked at.