Why Your Baby Registry is Your First Great Co-Parenting Project

The act of clicking through a digital list to set up a baby registry seems simple—30 minutes? An hour? In truth, it is the final, visible step in a process of invisible decision-making. All of parenting follows this pattern of invisible research and action, followed by a final “Tah dah!” 

Deciding what you need reflects all you have taken in and prioritized so far. If one parent has no idea what to put on the list, their presence becomes merely ceremonial, setting the stage for a career of parenting imbalance.

How to fairly split chores and parenting a new baby

Your baby registry is a strategy session, not just a shopping trip. As we click, we are making choices about the kind of parenting we imagine. If one person does the research and decision-making alone, both parents lose the opportunity to start working together before the baby is ever born.

When you sit down to "shop," you are actually answering these fundamental questions:

• Feeding Logistics: Will we use bottles? Breastfeed? A combination? If we use bottles, who is responsible for the night feeds? What do we need to have this go smoothly?
• Sleep Environment: Will the baby sleep in our room or their own? Who gets up with the baby? What do we need to have this go smoothly?
• Diapering: Are we choosing cloth or disposable? A combo? Laundering or getting a service? Store brand or organic? What do we need to have this go smoothly?

Co-parenting during pregnancy: Building your parenting plan

Exploring a registry together is educational. A simple "Why would we need this?" often evolves into an "Oh—feeding and soothing babies involves more than I knew." Once the basics are ironed out, you’re more likely to create a registry list that’s likely to meet your preferences.

This process requires deep self-reflection. You might find yourself saying, "I feel really strongly about where the baby sleeps!" These moments are not just about gear; they’re about values and expectations.

Emotional preparation for baby and partner connection

Building a registry side-by-side is a relationship-builder. Learning together will lead to discussion and even—gasp—differences in opinion. If this sounds unappealing, consider this: would you rather build this communication skill now while pregnant, or while you are recovering from birth in the company of a baby who has no patience for your process?

When both parents devote time and valuable brain space prior to the birth, they share a commitment to the choices they have made. Just like that, you’ve started to build  the framework for healthy co-parenting. 

You can treat your registry as something quick and obvious, but it‘s a missed opportunity. If you treat it as an early step in communicating and relationship building, you are making a solid investment in your family. You aren't just building a nursery; you're building a team.

Make It Grand Pro-Tip:

Don't let the conversation stop at the registry. Use the Make It Grand Conversation Cards to dive deeper into the "what-ifs" of your new life together.